I am a dreamer. I always have been. Only I used to dream about making a lot of money, even until a couple months ago. I wanted to be an actress, so I could make money (Silly, I know). I wanted to be a businesswoman in the corporate world, so I could make money. I wanted to be a lawyer, so I could make money. However, the last couple of months, those dreams have started to evolve.
I'm not sure what made them evolve. I think starting work at my new job. I have started to realize that life isn't about making money, it's about doing what you enjoy. When you do what you enjoy, you never work a day in your life. If money happens as a result, that's great. I just want to leave Kiley for a good reason.
So, what do I want to do? Well, I want to be a lawyer and a real estate agent. I really think I would like both...However, making money is no longer my motivation. Now, my motivation is doing something I enjoy, something that gives me a good reason to leave Kiley everyday. I want to be a real estate agent because I have always loved houses and I can't see sitting in front of a computer all day everyday. Plus, I love the charm of houses. I think every house has a personality and would love to introduce others to that personality. I want to do law because I would like to make a difference in the life of horse owners and in the lives of families. I don't know how long I will practice law, though. My guess is until the corrupted nature of that world starts to catch up to me. I do know that I want no part in that. I used to think I did, I'll be honest. Today, I know I don't.
Another thing I would like to do is to open up a horse rescue eventually. I am adamantly against horse slaughter. I know the whole "there's a need for it" argument. You don't need to explain that to me. I also am aware that while that law was passed, more animal wound up abandoned. Um, duh. Because more laws weren't passed about equine breeding and ownership and people were still allowed to own them and not educate themselves on them. The law needs to be handled DIFFERENTLY. Ask for more info if you would like. I also know that as part of that rescue, I would put a clause in with every adoption that says that if, for whatever reason, that person came to a point where they couldn't afford the horse and couldn't sell the horse, I would take them back. And I would be set up to follow through with that. There's especially a need for more rescues for retired racing thoroughbreds and quarter horses. Not very many horses bred for racing actually make it in racing and most of the ones that don't make it wind up slaughtered. Also, quarter horses are idiot- proof. No matter how big of an idiot you are, you can usually get along fine with a quarter horse. Hence, why they are bred in such large quantities. I also would like to breed and show reining and barrel horses. Another little pipe dream. I was always destined for an exciting life. :D
Mainly, I just want to be happy and lead a fulfilled life. I know that that won't happen without working my program. I also want a few more kids. I know that their lives won't be fulfilled as children if mine isn't. That's why I try to work my program to the best of my ability everyday. I know that I don't want more until I am more established and settled. I had Kiley too young, and I wasn't established enough. I know that I should have waited. My job won't provide for her AND Kandi. I have done the math. I need something better, where I will make more, that much is clear. And those are the things I want so that I can get there. I know that now. It is clear to me. It's great to finally be this clear!
Later, I will go into greater detail on all the posts so far. Right now, I'm just providing a background. :)
