At the end of the day, when I put her to bed and look at that sweet face, it is certainly ALL worth it. But, the days can be challenging. For a long time, "You'll get a time out if you don't come here right now!" worked perfectly fine. Now, when I ask her if she wants a time out, she will say, "NO!" over her shoulder and keep doing what she is doing. The research I have done and the choices I have made tell me that hitting or spanking is not an option, so other things, however exhausting, will have to do, however tiring they may be. This might mean 700 time outs a day, 459 offering other options to entertain herself with, other food, etc. And I will NOT bribe her with food! That's bad too, or so I read. ;) Sometimes, it's hard being a mom who researches everything, but I feel that she will turn out better for it.
Today, I took her to a meeting, where she changed her mind about what she wanted to do and where she wanted to be about 5 times. Then, she hit her head on the table. I rushed, aching back and all, to pick her up and get her out of that room before the silent screams erupted into loud, heckled sobs. Then, she wanted to go outside, where she wanted to play hide and seek, and to touch the Smoker's Outpost, which she knows she is not supposed to do. And she does that, too- touches it just to get me going. She then cracks up when I reprimand her for it, as if it were the funniest thing she had ever seen.
Why is it that before I had children, my children would NEVER behave that way, and now she does everything I said she never would and nothing that I decided she would do? Because she is her own person, that's why. I tend to hope that through consistency and love, she will grow into a well- rounded, able- bodied individual. You know- one who can support herself! I want to give her the freedom to discover who Kiley is, while not hurting anyone or stepping on anyone else's toes. She does not always do what I tell her, but hopefully others will understand that she is 2- so she is learning what is required of her. She will obey me, most of the time, eventually.
I am at a point that I am okay with her journey, and anyone who isn't can remove themselves. I do not have time for others to crush her spirit. And if they try, mama's claws will come out. It has happened, and probably will again. No, I will not discuss the fact that she made more noise than she should have with you. I do not think that there is a point. I am learning, too, and will make adjustments where needed. If she was too noisy, chances are that I know this and will change the behavior next time. I do not sit there and twiddle my thumbs with her. I am an active mom, maybe too active. I love it, everything about it. I am okay with that- and I am okay with me.
I would imagine that you were a handful when you were 2 years old as well.Just saying.
ReplyDeleteWell said: "I want to give her the freedom to discover who Kiley is, while not hurting anyone or stepping on anyone else's toes." A great privilege of being a parent is sharing the joys (and sorrows) of that journey of discovery.
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