New Hours

I have new working hours. 8:45-7:15 4 days a week. Yes, 4 10s. I know, I'm crazy. Possibly demented. I seem to write and bowl and exist better than way. Maybe it helps me tap into me. So, whatever.

I guess it will just take some getting used to. I feel like I'm sleeping as I type. I know I need to go to bed but it's just SO DARN EARLY! You know? But then, Kiley woke up this morning God awful early. At 5 AM. She was SO HAPPY to be awake, silly child. I wish I was that happy to be awake....

I feel like I'm being fake at my job. I do not care about shoes. I love the people I work with, that is why I stay. But, I am sick to death of talking about shoes. I do not care about shoes. They're shoes. Period. Who gives a shit? It's like spiders. People find them so scary. I don't give a shit, just let them go on about their business. That's what I'd like to do to the shoes. Let them go on about their business and go on with mine. But, I have Kiley to support and, quite frankly, the benefits are fabulous and I don't have the energy to look for another job...I should probably put some time into it anyway, since I will definitely be leaving when I start law school.

I have realized lately that there is a reason people wait to have babies, and I know that I will be waiting until I am very much established to have more. People want to learn who they are, who their partner is, if they really click with their partner, before they have children. They want to build up their career before they have a child, build up a nestegg. They want to be ready to enjoy their children. When I have more, that is the place where I will be. And I know that there's never a RIGHT time to have a baby. But, there's got to be a better time than now. And now is not a good time. I'm not settled. Anywhere near it. Kiley might be, like, 8 or 9 before I have another. That is the conclusion I've come to lately. That's what's right for me. It's not right for everybody. I feel like God is making that clear to me.